How To Build Excellent Self-Control By Garrett Davis

Over the years I’ve had people tell me that I have excellent self-control. I must agree with them, I am a highly self-managed individual. Building self-control is definitely one of the most important aspects of personal growth, so it’s imperative that we give this topic its due attention. I will define self-control here as an ability to stay within the parameters of whatever action steps a specific goal calls for.

Having great self-control is mostly a function of properly prioritizing. It is also closely related to goal setting.

Without a goal, what is the need for self-control? We can only say that a person has good self-control if he or she is well capable of sticking to a plan that was derived as a means of achieving a specific goal. If, for example, a person eats a piece of cake, but his or her goal is not to loose weight, does that person necessarily have poor self-control? No. That person may have well developed self-control, but if they don’t have a goal that is hindered by eating that piece of cake, then their self-control is retained. The point is that without a specific goal, there is really no need for well-developed levels of self-control.

Before self-control can even be measured, there must be a goal to which it can be applied. Until you have a very specific goal in mind, there will be no need for concerning yourself with self-control. Without a goal there will be nothing to control and direct your actions towards. So, the first step in building excellent control over yourself, which means control over your own actions, is to be very clear as to what your goals are. You need to really think your goals through thoroughly. What is it that you want for yourself and for your life? Be specific and always remember to write your thoughts down frequently. Summarize your goals in clear and concise sentences. Don’t hesitate to make revisions to what you write until you are totally satisfied.

Also, in my estimation there is very little value in differentiating between long-term goals and short-term goals. Many will tell you to write down your short-term as well as long-term goals. I don’t have any long-term goals. That’s right, I don’t have any long-term goals. Nor do I have any short-term goals. I just have goals. Why would I want to put any time parameters on my goals, especially on the long side? By making something a long-term goal, you commit to not achieving it for a very long time! Why would you want to do this? This is especially common in the thinking of people in their twenties. You’ll hear people say things like, "my long-term goal is to buy a house". Guess what? If that’s your approach, you can almost guarantee that it will be a very long time before you ever get that house, or that promotion, or education, or whatever.

On the flip side, the problem with short-term goals is that they are often insignificant and limiting.

If you are to develop excellent self-control, you must be able to find inspiration in your goals. Short-term goals often don’t provide much in terms of real, lasting, deep inspiration because they just aren’t designed that way. Long-term goals are not good facilitators of self-control because they lack a sense of urgency. If you have a goal, but your self-talk tells you that its achievement is a long ways off, then what’s the rush? Why would you feel the need to do everything that you’re supposed to do now?

After you’ve figured out what your goals are, the next step is to derive a plan of action. While sticking to the plan is the essence of self-control, you should also be able to foster a degree of elasticity that will allow you to adapt to new challenges as they come your way.

Having great self-control does not mean that you will stick to your plan no matter what. You very well may need to revise your plan of action several times. I’ve found that I have to do this quite often in my stock trading, and will have to continue to do so in changing market conditions. Imagine if I was not flexible in this area of my life. I’d go broke. Small adjustments never negate self-control. Self-control will do you no good if your plan is crappy (that’s an adjective for the academic types out there).

Once you’ve set your goals and figured out which action steps you will take towards achieving them, your next focus will be that of prioritization. Prioritization is really the crux of self-control. A person who is excellent at prioritizing will have excellent self-control. Think about it like this: If you find yourself straying from the action steps that your goals call for, it’s because you’ve not given those action steps their due priority. When you’re not doing what you ought to do, it’s because you’ve not properly prioritized your life. Giving your goals priority means consistently taking the proper action steps required for their achievement.

If you have important goals, you must continuously remind yourself of their rank in your life. Whether your goals are career related, fitness related, family related, or whatever else, you will achieve them at the rate that you maintain their priority.

If your goals rank high enough in importance in your life, nothing will stop you from achieving them. When you become tempted not to do what you ought to do, whether that means studying, exercising or dieting, organizing, or whatever else, you will simply remind yourself that your goal takes president. You will think to yourself, "Is this action in alignment with my goals?" If it is not, you simply need to mentally review your goals and weigh their importance against whatever it is that you are tempted to do or not do. When you’ve done this correctly, you’ll find yourself naturally drifting towards doing what you ought to be doing.

When you maintain excellent self-control, you realize quick and efficient goal achievement. Both can and will be yours when you’ve taken on the mind-set I’ve described.

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